Once Upon a Time, Today Was My Anniversary
Today used to be my anniversary.
If Melody and I had not divorced, we would be celebrating 18 years of marriage tonight. As it is, we are not sure what to do with January 11th.
Should we celebrate? That feels kindof odd. That marriage is now dead.
Should we grieve? That seems a bit off as well, because our sorrow has truly been turned into gladness.
We have decided to simply remember.
To remember both the good and the bad…the joy and the pain. To remember that we would not be enjoying the intimacy we share today had we not gone through the gut-wrenching process of facing our brokenness.
We were young and in love and thought we had everything figured out. We loved God and wanted to spend the rest of our lives serving Him together. We were so convinced that we were going to the mission field to reach an unreached people group that we took back almost all of our wedding gifts, including our fine china! (My mom still hasn’t forgiven us for that one!)
I was too much of a coward to talk to Melody about my struggle with pornography before we married. I sincerely believed that once we got married that my problem would go away forever and she would never have to know.
I was wrong.
Our story took turns that we never dreamed it would take. When we said “I Do” at Samford University in 1992 it never crossed my mind that I would be divorced 10 years and 11 months later…leaving a gorgeous wife and four beautiful kids to figure out what happened to Daddy.
So tonight, as Melody sleeps beside me, I remember.
I remember all that has taken place in 18 years.
Planting a church. Starting a business. Four kids. Financial struggle. Infidelity. Separation. Reconciliation. Infidelity. Divorce. Court appearances. Church discipline. Melody’s remarriage. Another man tucking my kids in at night. Melody’s divorce. Learning to co-parent well. Pursuing Melody. Dating. Remarriage.
It’s been quite the journey, and, as much as we want to slip away into our “happily ever after”, we understand there will be more pain and conflict. But we have come to know that there is a pain that heals.
Happy Old Anniversary, honey.
Oh…and you can click here to see what we looked like on January 11, 1992. Be nice!
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